Friday, December 2, 2005

The Truth

I'm trying to get back to the routine of my 'normal' life. I gained 7 pounds back during the holiday. I did very well in the beggining. I was even running, pushing myself and eating a lot of fiber and smaller, healthy portions. I made many mistakes. I didn't drink water religiously. I forgot my water bottle at home and I didn't buy any while I was away. I did very well Thanksgiving day, I kept the promises I made to myself. The problem was to keep up the good half-good work after Thanksgiving. I ate every time I had any challenge. I ate when I was tired. I ate late at night. I ate when I was & wasn't hungry. The work of a whole month went down the toilet because I couldnt' do better. I'm really feeling sorry right now. Back to normal life I haven't done much better. Without any groceries at home I went to Burger King for the first time in my life for a chicken and biscuit. Today I got another breakfast biscuit thing from a great local coffee shop. While I was pulling on the parking lot I told myself that was going to be the last time. Right... Even when I went to the grocery store last night to buy groceries I bought stuff to make sandwiches, I got 'dinner' (fried chicken, mac&cheese, green beans cassarole, dressing). I'm in a bad shape right now. I keep thinking that next week I'll do better.

I'm afraid next holiday, which is in 23 days, I'll gain more pounds. I don't really see the light at the end of the tunel though it is there. I didn't write on the blog often during the break. I know that keeps me accountable somehow. One of my friends was supportive, everyone else around didn't offer a very good environment. This will be the challenge: to stay positive and to keep my goal, no matter who is around and no matter what they do.
Enough of being sorry. I have to challenge myself that normal life is every day. Normal life requires me to take care of myself every day. I can't let people determine I'm making a horrible sacrifice by eating healthier. The easy way out is to be out of shape because it's winter time. The easy way out is to be sluggish and unhealthy. Am I gonna listen to them or am I gonna listen to what makes me happy? Again, I can't control what happens around me. I can't choose when challenges come my way. I can choose to face them, to get through it and to be victorious in every way. I must confess I'm still dealing with the aftermath of my challenges. I know I have the victory in Jesus, I just have to get over it and act like it. It gets better each day, so I'll bounce back pretty soon. I decided to keep weighting myself weekly. I decided I'm gonna have to survive with the sandwiches but next time I'll do better. I keep waiting for something fall from the sky and solve every challenge I have. I need rest, I need more of the truth, the way and the light, which is Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. Pray for me.