Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Change: how bad do you want it?

I was reading one of my posts from a few years ago where I decided to tell my story. It was illuminating to read it because of what I’ve become with God’s help.
I have found out why I looked at a 121 lbs woman in the mirror 12 years ago and called her fat. The reason is my mind was not changed. I used to attribute my weight problems to food alone.

That same post mentioned that the outside weight gain was a reflection of the mess going on inside of me. This situation just kept evolving until God set me free indeed. Blogging has its good and bad aspects (more on the bad later). The good one is that through this virtual journal I can look at myself and understand why certain things happened in my past. This is from that post:

“I can spend a whole day wondering, reading blogs and trying to find inspiration on health sites on the net but most of the time that stuff makes me feel really bad. I decided to focus on self and working on self little by little every day. Thanks to God my mind is clear, I know what it takes and I'm taking the time to do it.” Cintia ‘n Food, April 6, 2006

I had to take a break from reading blogs some time after this post was written. Different sites were making me feel like a HUGE loser. If you look at my archives you’ll notice a huge gap in post dates between 06 and 07 because during that time God was changing my mind. I had to totally focus on Him so He could teach me how I was to go on my journey. I gladly dropped this blog knowing I was desperate and I needed a change. Well, change did come and I give God all the glory for it.

As I look back this difficult and challenging journey, I appreciate my husband’s support and belief in me. He was the one who paid for classes and encouraged me each week to go and stick with my plan. He changed some of his habits and went to walks with me. He was there when I messed up and when I was discouraged. He was there when I hit the bottom and felt horrible. I keep telling him that God will bless him for the seeds he’s planting in my life. I also appreciate the posts that were full of hope. No matter how bad I felt about myself, I always believed I could reach my goal.

Friend, how much do you want to change? Would you be willing to take a trip inside of yourself and find out the real reason why your dieting efforts haven’t really worked? What if it has nothing to do with food and exercise? Would you still face the truth about yourself?

I pray that my ‘not perfect’ story can inspire you to have hope. I believe you can reach your goals if you ask God for help and if you do not give up. I’m a witness He will give you the desires of your heart. Delight yourself in God and you’ll get more than a thinner body. I encourage you to go on.