Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Not so perfect life

I had another one of those months. My weight went down and then it went right back up to where I was. I lost a few ounces and I didn't gain anything. I see that as a good month.
My health educator has moved on to other things in life. I felt like a little girl whose teacher moved away. I was happy for her pursuit and at the same time sad to see a good friend go. I also felt that the situation is causing me to take a stand for what I believe about my health and run for it.
I don't feel destitute. I don't really feel alone. I have a community of fellow travelers online (with their own methods and beliefs) that keeps me on the loop in a way. What I miss is not having someone who's known me since the beginning of the journey. That woman noticed not only my weight but my thoughts, what was going on emotionally and intellectually. Some teachers (and friends) are really with us for a season. My season was great. I learned a whole lot.
There's a group who meets weekly in town and I thought about giving them a try. It's not a Weight Watchers meeting; it's just a weight loss group. I haven't thought about starting anything of my own. I believe there are good groups locally that need to be supported. I think you need to have a strong desire to spearhead something like that and that's just not where I am. Right now I'm the occasional group gatherer if you know what I mean.
Every since I wrote about desserts and substitutions I have made sweet potatoes (with milk, cinnamon, pecans and brown sugar. That's the way my husband likes it) and I have eaten fruits (oranges, bananas, that's about it). That has helped. Habits are a funny thing. Today I ate a banana and 30 minutes later just because I saw Zeke eating a cookie, I caught myself looking for cookies too. I said to myself, 'self (LOL), what are you looking for? You've had your sweet for today.' Ain't that funny? I'm learning to distinguish different things such as cravings, habits and being tired from plain 'get over it.'
Welcome to my real, not so perfect, but highly enjoyable life.

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