Sunday, February 22, 2009

Search for Contentment

I’m a human being, not a human doing! I felt a little guilty tonight for missing a church service. Notice that I’m 29 weeks pregnant and have been working the whole, entire weekend. Now, how crazy is that feeling? Instead of harboring that stuff I looked up the word ‘contentment’ on biblegateway.com and these two verses came up:

Song of Solomon 8:10
[ Beloved ] I am a wall, and my breasts are like towers. Thus I have become in his eyes like one bringing contentment.

I Timothy 6:6
But godliness with contentment is great gain.
The first verse of course is about marriage. I never paid attention to this particular verse but what a blessing is to know that your husband finds contentment in you. No longer YOU need to to look like an airbrushed fitness magazines models. You’re it, he’s satisfied with you. This was for free LOL.

The second one applies to my situation much more. What I need is godliness with contentment. I haven’t looked at the Hebrew or Greek here, but what I know is altough I Timothy 6 is talking about money, contentment is something we can apply to different areas of life. The Message translate the end of the verse in a great way, it says ‘but it's the rich simplicity of being yourself before God.’ My simplicity right now before God is ‘I’m tired and I’m very pregnant. Gone are the days I could work a whole weekend, take 40 minute walks during my work day and attend 3 services at church. I serve a God who also told me to remember the Sabbath.’ The feeling I had was that I was missing out. I don’t know how you talk to yourself but sometimes I used the ‘h’ word. I said, ‘what h is wrong with you? Why are you acting like you’ve never been anywhere and you’re not going anywhere else in life?’ I hate that feeling of discontentment. It doesn’t go with me or what I’m all about. God’s been good to me. He’s allowed me opportunities to do so many cool things, travel the world, worship Him in different traditions, you name it. This feeling of discontentment is crazy.

I watched part of the BBW Oscar special and a famous actress said that her dream is to be a mom. Filthy rich people wish dream of the reality I live in. I’m blessed, I’m pregnant, I’m content and I’m gonna rest. Thanks for reading.

P.S.: I just got roses tonight. God is good and my husband is awesome.

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