Wednesday, November 7, 2012

NaBloPoMo: The Pursuit of Friendships

As we approach the new year I decided to leave several things in 2012. One of them are friendships not worth pursuing. I am tired of pursuing friends only to find out some people just don't want me to be part of their lives. This feeling led me to write the following in one of my journals:
I experienced good and bad things related to friendships since I moved to Houston. I had to start from zero when it came to making friends. Friendships worth pursuing have the following characteristics:
Openness. The person will literally make room for you in their life. During this past year I learned this through being turned down several times for lunch invitations as well as through being plainly ignored when I said hello. A person who wants to be friends with me will make room for me in their lives even if all we can do is to have a 20-minute heart-to-heart conversation in my backyard.
Honesty. Making room for a new friend in your life requires honesty. Why put on a mask when you can benefit from integrity? It is worth pursuing a friend who will be honest with you as a habit. People who lack honesty when starting relationships are giving you a prediction of how unstable the friendship will be. Honesty is a great foundation for friendships.
Mutual Admiration. No one wants to be friends with someone who is feeling sorry for you. Mutual admiration communicates that both persons are esteemed and have worth in the friendship. It also speaks of respect. A friendship worth pursuing is free of contempt. I believe that mature people understand and practice mutual admiration. This environment is conducive to honor, respect and celebration of the other.  
The way I am choosing to leave friends not worth pursuing in 2012 is through Forgiveness. It was hurt (whether the person realizes it or not is irrelevant) and it is up to me to keep a clean heart by Forgiving and letting that hurt go. This allows me to have a clean heart when I pray. God has not released me from praying (as a matter of fact from loving) for those who don't want to be my friends. I am no longer pursuing a deeper friendship but I am praying for God's abundant blessings over them including great friendships in their lives.
* The last Instagram photo in this post is of a few treats I prepared for a friend totally worth pursuing. I am blessed to have new friendships in my life.
QUESTION • In your opinion, what are the characteristics of friends worth pursuing? Why?
What is this?

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