Monday, March 23, 2015

The Narrative of Marriage: Numbers

The day the numbers started rolling. Rev. Nick Nicholson
is the amazing minister who married us in his home.
Zeke and I were newly married and we were living in a brand new city and state. We decided to take a Saturday afternoon stroll downtown and check out the music scene. We stopped at a coffee shop for dessert where we listened to a singer/songwriter perform. I saw a young couple from our church sitting a few tables over and I whispered to my brand new husband "there goes the So and Sos, they've been married for 8 years!" I can't remember the song that was being played or who was the artist. I got stuck with the number 8. For a couple who had a few months under their belt, 8 seemed like a huge number.

Numbers are a big part of married life. Numbers tell a story tough the true narrative is only known to the two who became one. I want my narrative to be stronger than numbers. We can do it with God as our foundation.

I admire the number of years my parents have been married. This January as they celebrated they 37th year as a married couple, I noticed that my parents posted a photo of our entire family on their Facebook. The caption said "this is the witness to 37 years." More than numbers, the faces of children, in-laws and grandchildren tell the true narrative that numbers can't tell. I pray that I too will reach my 37th year anniversary with joy and thankfulness. 

When we take our eyes off our spouse's and look elsewhere, it's easy to get discouraged. Numbers are saying that not every marriage makes it. My assurance is that with God as my anchor, we will continue to grow stronger. I try not to let research discourage me. I try not to be depressed by what I see in the world. I know that the narrative of my marriage can be a strong witness to my children first and to others in this generation. 

The thing is, we are not perfect but we know a God who is. We don't always get it right but we are encouraged to seek Godly wisdom in our relationship. We also choose to believe that enjoyment has been a big part of the narrative of our marriage. No matter how much the number grows, so will our enjoyment increase. We can make it through Christ who strengthens us and because the God of love, who is love came up with the idea of marriage on the first place. To Him be the honor, the glory and our devotion as we continue to write our story.

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