Marriage is like fire. It needs attention and fuel to keep going. I never claimed to be an expert on anyone else's marriage except my own. I'm accountable to my own love story thus I keep the fire going.
I remember the beginning stages of our relationship. It was pure bliss! So much excitement I literally jumped up and down when Zeke asked me to date him. The day he proposed I was so high on happiness I forgot to do some of the basic things I commonly do in life. Mere details did not matter for my head was elsewhere: I was to get married to the love of my life. I had no time or need to question my decision. He is the one and he chose me.
10 years have since passed and we have had the usual ups and downs of marriage. I have relied on God as a foundation to keep the fire of my marriage going. We have been aware there are more than just the two of us. The care our marriage will be a reflection on generations to come.
I find that paying attention to my marriage is important. There is nothing easy about this part. Finding "couple time" in this season of life is not easy but worth it. I'm motivated by the fact that God put us together and my husband is a worthy investment as a man.
Another challenging part is recognizing my own mistakes as a wife and actually changing my behavior from the inside out. As I grow into wife my husband needs, the fire of our marriage is rekindled. The fact is, this wife is not perfect and there's room to grow.
We stay away from comparing ourselves to others. Instead, we intently look at the law of liberty (James 1:25) and we base our living through what we see there. I do have great admiration for couples who do the hard work of rekindling the fire and celebrate many decades of marriage. I often think, "that will be us one day." I find value in their wise, hard earned advice.
The fire I'm rekindling at year 10 does keep my family warm. It shines as a light to my kids and it honors God. This rekindling business was never meant to be perfect (and it isn't) but with every imperfection I get to grow into the wife God made me to be.
I wish there were easy answers about this marriage journey. I know for sure that there is healing, strength and redemption in the power of Agape love.