One day I will tell you about how I started singing. The story involves my uncle crying so much on my shirt he gets it wet and it also involves me convincing my dad that I had a stomach ache so he went to buy me meds and I scored some sweet popcorn on his way back to church.
The essence of my musical ability comes from growing up with my people in Brazil. We truly sing for the joy of Jesus. We were also threatened, I mean, told by my grandma that we don’t need to be prideful about the musical gifts God gave us. She basically convinced us that God does not like pride at all and we should stay away from it. Her threat, I mean, words of advice, really worked.
Last week, I had an audition at church. Unlike my first one (with the director and a piano player), there were a bunch of folks around. I must admit, I’m the person who single handedly brought the greatest amount of bodies to the audition because all my kids and my husband (who was one of the people running the audition) were there.
Afterwards, people who asked me about the audition gave me a little wink and a little laugh. I think it’s because they thought, your husband is involved with the audition, so you're basically in, right? Well, wrong. It is my desire and hope that Zeke is always honest with me, especially when it comes to my musical abilities.
I always ask him for feedback. Oh, 13 years ago, he used to give me voice lessons. He has now evolved to be my voice coach. When I have to sing by myself somewhere, he is so kind to coach me so I can get better results with my singing. Oh yeah, before you think I’m being prideful, I sing multiple music genres. The delivery is different so it would be natural that I would get different results.
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| Jazz gig a few years ago. |
One time I did a jazz gig in N.C. and a magazine writer basically murdered my performance. My performance was in Portuguese. This kid, who does not speak Portuguese, was quite harsh about my performance, but what else could you expect from someone with pen and paper on a jazz gig, right?
Back to my audition. I was quite nervous but I got myself together and sang the song. I’m often nervous when I audition for something but I’m experienced enough to let go of the nervousness so I can give it my best. I haven’t heard back about my audition yet and while I wait, I’ve been examining my motivation.
I’m a person who tries to talk herself out of stuff. It would be easier to do the least amount required at church. I’m also a person who has a commitment with God. My motivation for auditioning was not to hold a mic (my grandma taught me better than that!) but it was to simply tell God that I am available for His use. My audition was a way of being available for God to use me however He desires.
The second time in my life I auditioned for a musical group, I did not make the cut. That particular audition was also a way of being available for God to use me and I was amazed at how He did. While I didn’t make the cut for that certain group, another group took me in. That summer I led and designed worship services with and we even recorded a CD! If I had made the cut, I would have missed on the opportunity of a lifetime.
I’m telling you this so you know that it pays to trust God, no matter if we make the cut or not.
God knows I am not trying to get a career in the music business. God knows I have my doubts and I often wonder if I should just keep my mouth shut and just go with the pew warmer's flow.
The truth is that I was created to magnify the Lord Jesus with every gift I have, music included. The truth is that God always opens doors and places me where He wants me to be. It’s up to me to show up for the audition.
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