Friday, June 1, 2018

The Closed Door of Friendship


I hung up the phone in the kitchen and I drove to my friend’s house. I knocked on the door and waited a while. She was there, she just didn’t open the door for me.
I saw that closed door as a reflection of our dying friendship. The door was shut, there was no going back.

The next time we met, I was pleasant. Inside, I knew things changed.

The same thing happened to me recently. While I waited outside another shut door, the feeling was too familiar.
I reminded myself, it was a reflection of our friendship. The door was shut and there was no going back.

Rejection always hurts but closed doors in friendships can be freeing.

Closed doors freed my time to welcome life-giving relationships. Because I wasn’t hanging out with my old friend, I had time to welcome wonderful new people. I met some incredible people post-rejection and I kept in touch with old friends. There isn’t a lack of good friendships, there is such thing as a life that’s too busy for them to find their way into our hearts.

Closed doors freed me from uncertainty. Have you ever hung out with someone yet you never knew where you stood with them? When I experienced rejection, I was suddenly free from uncertainty. I knew exactly where I stood: outside of that friend’s most intimate areas of life. Now, when new friends come into my life, I have learned to know where I stand. I try to master this ability quickly. Even if you are a casual, twice a year hang out kind of friend, you need to be certain of where you stand.

Closed doors freed me from unhealthy expectations. I placed those on myself. I have this addiction to loyalty in friendships. The truth is that toxic friendships do not require loyalty, they actually need to be expelled from my life. Friendship rejection has a way of opening my eyes to unhealthy expectations I put on myself.

The weather has been hot every time I’ve been waiting outside of a literal door of rejection. Clarity comes with warmer temps. Rejection always hurts but closed doors in friendships have freed me over and over again.

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