Thursday, July 19, 2018

Back in the Counselor's Office


“Cintia, I haven’t seen you in a long time.”
“I know, I think it’s been two or three years.”

I proceed to tell my Christian counselor everything I’ve been up to.
Time stops for a little while and I have a chance to rethink where I am based on where I came from.

If you are a long time reader, you know that I am not shy in saying that I get Christian counseling when I need it. I try to go often unless I don’t have insurance - which happened last summer. In that case, God provided me with all the support I needed to get through that tough season of joblessness.

The day I went back to the counselor’s office I got there too early. I had one hour to invest, so I invested in myself. I sat in a small coffee shop and I drank pu’er tea. I edited photos from earlier in the day, guilt-free. No one needed my attention and I could do whatever I pleased. I wasn’t nervous about the session, I was just ready to get there.

After a while, I got up and drove back to the counselor’s office. I noticed the people sitting in the waiting area. I’ve done this long enough to know there are a multitude of emotions going on in that room. I admire everyone’s bravery for showing up. Sometimes, making those appointments and keeping them is hard to do. There we were, ready to see the counselor.

My name is called so it is my turn.
She is still in the same room. That feeling of peace is still there and her decoration seems familiar.

After I tell her everything I’m up to, I make an effort to listen with my heart.
I used to take notes. This time, I told myself that my heart and mind would remind me of what’s really important. I took mental notes and I told myself I’d transfer them to paper at some point.

I used to have a laundry list of issues for the counselor to hear. This time, I let the Spirit of God take the lead. I decided I’d hear what He wanted me to hear and I’d say what felt most natural. I very much enjoy this rhythm. I might keep it doing things this way.

I realize that I’ve been through a lot and it is okay to feel my feelings. I am amazed that God was present and He still wants to heal me. I’m thankful for His love and His plan for my ordinary life.

Friend, I don’t know if you are a person who goes to Christian counselors’ offices. I wanted to share my experience in hopes that you see that it is normal and helpful to go. The simple act of taking time to talk to someone about my life has given me the opportunity to live a healthier inner life.

My stress level went down after my visit. I also was able to find healing from some hurts I experienced 20 years ago. I had no idea the hurt was still there. Thank God He cares.

Christ makes it all possible. I hope you will consider letting Him heal your inner being.

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