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In my search for meaningful, God-sent friendships, I am learning the importance of identifying safe people. The journey to discern between safe and unsafe friendships can be tricky. Today I offer three simple ways to avoid toxic friendships and move on to life-giving, wise ones. Toxic people usually win 3 major contests: the Dumping Contest, the Street Contest and the Speech Contest.
1. The Dumping Contest • People who are really good contenders here are constantly dump all their worries, fears and problems on you. When they call you they have the opening monologue where for 20 minutes they are the total center of attention. They are also top winners in the Street Contest.
2. The Street Contest • in order to win, just take the 'One Way Street' route. The only beneficiary in this type of relationship is the toxic friend. They are the center of attention and there is a great demand to cater to all their needs. Oh, they easily win the Speech Contest.
3. The Speech Contest • Pay attention on how they speak of others. During this contest, the way they talk about others is keenly observed. If they talk down, slander and disrespect others in your presence, it is almost guaranteed they will do the same thing to you.
It's important to know the capacity a person has for friendship so there's mutual reciprocity. At the end of the day, safe friendships are life-giving:
"Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor." James 3:17-18 [The Message]
Are you receiving wisdom from your friends?
Question: In your opinion, what other characteristics do toxic friends display?
Related Post: Life Lesson #3 (Friendship)
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