Tuesday, August 25, 2020

The best thing a couple can do for their marriage

What is the best thing a couple can do for their marriage? I think that the number one piece of advice I heard from people was "date nights." I confess that at times, I would feel guilty for not going on more date nights. According to those folks, date nights are super responsible for keeping a couple together.

Here is what no one speaks about: what if you fight during date night? Can your marriage still thrive? What if you don't have money to go on date nights? What if you can't afford a babysitter for 3 kids, plus the cost of going on the date night? Can your marriage even make it? 

I'm not an anti-date night person. I actually enjoy them. I was just never happy with this quick fix to marital bliss. The answer can't be that simple.

Enter COVID season. Every date night place is closed. No one can leave their home so no babysitter. I know that we can get creative and have date nights at home. Still, the simple act of the date night can't possibly be the solution to keeping a marriage together. At least, not mine. 

Zeke and I were not one of those couples who bragged about going through COVID season without arguing. If you were one of those, good for you though. We had our misunderstandings. Thankfully, we got to the side of understanding one another, which made us stronger. 

Sometimes, the best thing for a marriage is not an outing but a verbal statement of true commitment. "I'm on your side" were the sweetest words I heard. 

For every disagreement we've ever had, my husband always reminded me that he was on my side. He didn't say that so the argument could be over. He said it to remind us both that we are for each other. We champion one another. We are on the same time and therefore, we are on the same side. 

Disagreements can divide us but we don't have to let them. We can work through them, no matter how long it takes. The work is proof that we care about our marriage. It means we are willing to grow and learn how to remain united. 

Unity is important, especially in the midst of uncertainty. When the world is unreliable, it is nice to rely on the love of my spouse. It is wonderful to know that love is where we find our sense of being and the strength to keep going. 

The best thing a couple can do for their marriage depends on that couple. For us, the words "I'm on your side" work just fine.

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