Distorted Image

Friday, July 31, 2009

This was me a few summers ago. I guess it was summer of 06. My body image is distorted sometimes. I may be living a moment and feeling so weird and fat - yep, I said it - but then I look back and realize there was nothing wrong with me. Why not be just happy with myself? This thing is torture, pure torture. Instead of focusing on numbers on a scale I should have been focusing more on the incredible love my husband has for me. He loves me for who I am. He knows I care about my health and I will always work towards having a healthy body and mind. He cares about my heart, he loves me for who I am. The day I said 'I do' I committed to many things, among them to give myself fully to him. How can I give myself fully if I don't like who I am? In order to give myself fully I need to love myself completely, for who would like to receive a gift not even the giver appreciates?
I'm working on loving myself fully in every season of life. I'm working on not being sorry for myself because motherhood is a gift, a blessing and something many wish they were able to do but simply cannot. There is no shame for carrying extra weight because I was an instrument used to carry and deliver life into being. I have lots of work to do but as I look in the past I see that how much I weighed never really matter, all that matters is love. Loving God, loving others and loving myself. Thank you my king for loving me every season of life in every way. I love you too.
P.S.: I guess you didn't know I sing. Every now and then I help my husband with different projects and I sing at church. I was 'tricked' to sing for the first time when I was 6 or 7 but that's a story for another blog post. LOL.