Friday, April 9, 2010

Making (new) Friends

Making friends used to be easy as a child. Even as an adult, finding friends was never an issue. Maintaining good friendships for the long haul and finding friends for this season is the challenge I currently face.

As a new mother I have found that some old friends might not be able to relate to the new me. My demands have changed, my schedule has changed.... darn it, I have changed! I don't require my friends to change with me. For the most part I tried to remain understanding although people have the tendency to look at you as the person you were 10 years ago. That's when something inside pushes you away from them because you are a different person today. No hurt feelings, just changed feelings.

I think it's wise to know that different seasons of life require different types of friends. It's nice to have other mom friends who have been or are going through the same things as I am. In grad school it was awesome to have people who were taking comps, writing a thesis and trying to read a thousand pages for the next class. There's comfort in similarity.

I have been trying my best to stay connected. I have been blogging. I stayed connected to a few ministries at church (I sing, I pray, I volunteer in the nursery). I visit my neighbors. I go to the gym. When I go for walks in the neighborhood I stop by a friend's house to say hello. I went to a new mom's group when the LP was an infant and now we go to another group in the library. We try our best to get out there in the community and meet new folks. Oh, my seasonal job as an event planner keeps me connected to real human beings too.

I must admit sometimes I look at the greener grass out there. I secretly admire that select group of moms who do everything together; from shopping to playdates they are inseparable. They're all thin and all their kids get along so well. Their world seems so perfect! I always wonder, how in the world did this women meet? Is their world really as perfect as it seems? 

I am trying to get out there, meet people and see what happens. I haven't felt compelled to start a moms group at church or out in the community (there are many, many good groups out there). I wonder if one of you would like to shed some wisdom into this new phase in life for me. Thanks for answering the following:

How do/did you find friends as a mom?
How do you maintain your friendships (it seems no one has time for real friends)?
What practical advice would you offer to moms who do not want to be alienated?