5 Tips for Dating a Musician

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

My Musician at Work. Photo by Josh Harris

I first heard the enchanting music of Zeke Listenbee a day in the fall of 2003. It was love at first hearing. A few weeks after that, I immediately immersed in the world of a musician’s girlfriend, fiancee and now, wife. I’ve learned the importance of knowing my musician as well as knowing myself. Here are a few tips for those of you dating or soon to marry a musician:

1. Music, the other Woman? • it might feel this way if you don’t define the boundaries of your relationship as a couple. It is tempting to ‘spend time together’ from gig to gig which is not quality time. Don’t compete with music my friend, instead, make sure you have time to do other activities you both enjoy.

2. Understand the Tribe and Individual • Understanding this unique tribe of musicians is essential but better than that, it’s important to ask your musician how does he like to be supported. Remember that if you speak a different love language than he does, his way of receiving support might be different than yours.  

3. R-E-S-P-E-C-T • It’s important to respect his professional side. It’s important to respect rehearsals, performances and all the wonderful things that comes with this calling of a musician. I know that the true understanding of respect for the work of others comes with maturity.

4. Relieve his Fears with Support • My husband got some awful advice about musicians’ wives when he was single. He was told he would not be able to do a thing with music once he got married. It turns out the sky is the limit once two became one. Assure him by word and deed that you want him to be the best, most successful musician he can be. Marriage is not a one-way street at all. You too have talents and gifts that need to be cultivated.

5. Live your Passion • Women need to find their own talents and invest in it. God has entrusted you with a talent of your own my sister. If you forsake it, many people will be robbed of the blessings your unique talent brings them. What is your passion?

My prayer is that you have a successful, enjoyable relationship. Pray and ask God for direction. Ask advice to Godly women who have successful marriages and above all, love and support your musician as God would. Here’s to a happy, musical life!