The Bright Side of my C-Section

2 years ago today

I don't know how you arrived at your c-section but I can tell you I did not plan to have one. I exercised, I ate nutritious foods, I read fit pregnancy magazine, I prayed, confessed, declared a natural birth and when 9 hours of labor went by, still no progress. 

For the first time in my life (as far as I knew), I was not in control.

My emergency c-section almost 2 years ago brought about the joy of motherhood as well as whole bunch of other feelings. I had to deal with the shame of having a c-section when in my mind everybody knows natural births are best.

I had to deal with doubt: what happened to all that praying and confessing the Word? It worked for so many ladies my age. So, all of I sudden, I have no power in the Spirit? Doubts filled my mind.

These two villains, along with hormonal changes and sleep deprivation were not easy to handle. Here's how I reached the Bright side of my C-Section:

• God is in control, I am not - I never included God on my birth plan, tough it would have been a great idea. The Bible says in Isaiah 46:9-10 that God declares the end from the beginning. He knew a C-Section would be the best way for my son to be born because the umbilical cord was wrapped around his little body a couple of times. I believe God was also teaching me a lesson on surrendering to the best birth plan, which is His plan. It took me a while but I now understand the purpose of birth. I know it's not about me. 

Pregnancy Photo

• Mentors Matter - One of my mentors came to my house and really encouraged me. She fed me, loved on me, heard my birth story, prayed with me, held my baby and encouraged me to move out of shame and doubt. Mentors are great because they have lived through the seasons of life and know the faithfulness of God. They know you, they love you and they will bring much needed encouragement in this delicate season. Contacting the leader of your Women's Ministry is a great way to find a mentor if you don't have one already. 

• Find Peers - I was amazed at how many of my peers had C-Sections. They could relate to my story, they shared their own and they had so much compassion for me. Even the friends who had natural births were able to relate with sleep deprivation, feedings and all the awesome things that happen when you have a new baby. Ladies, Facebook does not equal face-t0-face time with other women. We need community, we need the warmth of their presence. It took me forever to get there but I started small by attending church once a week, then I moved to being more involved in the community throughout the week. When you are ready, find the warmth of peers in your community.

Beautiful son & us on April 29, 2009

There is a Bright Side to a C-section. You can't find it by reading articles or watching TV. I found it as I surrendered to God's wonderful plan, relied on the guidance of my mentors and reached out to my sisters. The Bright Side of my C-section is simply, character building. I never dreamed I'd say that but I am a stronger woman because of the events that unfolded two years ago today.

If you are where I was, remember that it may not seem like it but the sun will shine again. You'll smile again and you will be stronger than before. God loves you and I understand sister, I've been there.