How to maintain a friendship when you’re busy

Thursday, March 22, 2018

The number one excuse, I mean, reason not to maintain a friendship is busyness. Let’s face it, we are all busy, yet, we all make time for what really matters. Here’s what i learned about maintaining friendships when you’re busy:

Analyze the relationship - my friends from high school are busy. Most of them live in different countries than I. Still, they have been faithful to keep in touch with me. Every time they come to the U.S. they take a few days to see me face-to-face. No matter how glam or country my abode may be, my friends come to see about me. The truth is that I’d do the same thing for them. This is a clear example of friendships worth keeping. I’ve also had to take a step back and analyze relationships with friends who lived closer yet, they were always busy when I needed them. I was doing all the work and for years, I was playing by their rules. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to close a door to a relationship not worth pursuing. I must also tell you that this was done with a clean heart, after prayer and counseling from people who know and love me.

Put it in your schedule - if something is important, you will put it in your schedule. If it’s in your schedule, chances are, it will happen. I am not a person who enjoys the ‘we need to get together’ small talk. If I am serious about seeing you, your name will make it to my schedule. I have friends who add me to their schedule 3 months ahead of time. These encounters happen and they are a blast. Texting has made things easier in a way yet, seeing someone face-to-face is a much better experience.

Keep the good friends you have - I can sympathize with people who are overwhelmed with life and they do not have ‘time’ to meet new people. This is not my approach to life but follow me for a moment. We all have a group of established friendships. Why not cultivate those? It means checking on people just because. It means not waiting until something awful or happy to happen so we can get in touch. It means to treasure friendship for friendship’s sake. Keeping the good friends you have means reminding your friend that she is your person.

Give without expecting anything in return - I know this is a wild card. I also know that giving expands our heart and it exemplifies great character. What can you give to your friend, without expecting something in return. I’m not talking about a monetary gift. It may be a listening ear. It may be your presence. When you give for friendship's sake, you are nurturing your friendship and investing in its future.