Wednesday, September 23, 2015

How to Help someone who does NOT want Help


Truth be told: you and I know someone who badly needs our help... if they just accept it. Reality be told: you and I can't force anyone to accept our help. So how in the world do you help someone who does NOT want to be helped? Here's the first thing to do:

1. Check your Motive - behind every action, there is a motive. The best motive to help someone is out of the true Agape Love of God. The kind of love that is patient and kind. The kind of love that it is not jealous, boastful or rude. It does not demand its way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It rejoices in truth, not in injustice. It never gives up, loses faith, it is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. If your motivation is this exact kind of Love, you're good. If not, you basically need a change of heart (Jesus can take care of that). A few bad motives to help people include selfish desires. Another bad reason to help someone would be your belief that the sweet person is inferior to you and your need to bring them up to your level. The key is to check the motive in your heart always. 

Once you have the right Motive, you will find yourself choosing among 3 options:

1. Don't Help them at all - They honestly have demonstrated that they do not want your help. If you still feel like you should do something, pray for them. Prayer is the most effective help you can give anyone because you are inviting God to invade a person's life and situation with His goodness.

2. Offer the Help - see what they say. They might say yes, they might say no. The key is to go into it with the right motive. If the person says No, do not get offended. Everyone has the right to turn down help. Do make sure you pray for the person - not in a manipulative way - so that God can bless them in their situation.

3. Do a "drop and run" - if you know the person will receive it well, give the help and walk away. For example, if you know a person can use a meal, drop the dinner at their door (let them know it's there) and leave. The "drop and run" do not work in a situation where you think the person needs your advice. If it's words we're talking about, be sure to go back to Number 1 (check your motives) and wait for them to say the magic words "what do you think?" If you feel like they are open to hear your advice, give it to them. If they are not open to the advice, offer a listening ear and be a faithful friend in prayer.

I know I haven't covered every array of possibility when it comes to helping people who do not want to be helped. One thing is for sure, we always need to have the right motive (God's Agape Love) and we need to speak the truth in love IF the person is open to it. Approach every situation to help in a prayerful manner.

I hope this post gives you some encouragement in the subject. Tell me, how do you help someone who does not want help?

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