Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Pastor's Wife: Purpose & Security

I become a Pastor’s wife around 7 years ago. I was blessed to grow up watching a virtuous pastor’s wife (my mom) which has given me a healthy perspective of that role. The interesting thing about being a pastor’s wife is that most people seem to have an opinion on how I should behave. I have learned that it is important to establish a foundation of security as well as a sense of purpose in my life, otherwise the outside pressure can be overwhelming.

My mother has always been a great example for me in this area of life. She was not worried about fitting in for her heart was to serve God. She always had a strong sense of purpose which drove her to work and make an amazing contribution to the ministries she was a part of. A strong sense of purpose helps you navigate the different seasons of ministry, whether you are really hands-on with daily activities or you play more of a supportive role. Have you asked yourself what is your purpose as a pastor’s wife?

The reality is that most ministries do not have a handbook written for the Pastor’s wife, thus I often ask what are the expectations of that particular church leadership. I really came to grips with this after getting professional counseling. I realized that I never signed a contract with the church but I do have a covenant with my husband. I’m his wife and that comes before anyone’s expectation of what my role as a pastor’s wife should be. This has developed an amazing sense of security in my life. It is a joy to know that I am God’s child and Zeke’s wife. My covenant is well established and secure.

Being a pastor’s wife is a unique experience because there isn’t a manual or a script written out there that I can read. It is important that I am secure and I have a strong sense of purpose so that God can be glorified and my husband can feel honored in all I do. I learned it is important that what Zeke thinks comes before what everyone else thinks.

Establishing this foundation of security and having purpose gets me out of the so called “fish tank mindset." I realize that people have a tendency to watch those in leadership closely but I know that people were also observing my habits 14 years ago when I was a single woman in college. I don’t believe I became more noticeable because I’m a pastor’s wife for people look for fruit in your life all the time. I refuse to feel restrained in any way with this mindset so I decided to be free from pressure and live in community. Christ never said that some members of His body have more prominence than others (I Corinthians 12:12-27). He’s called us to be all united in love.

I have found a lot of freedom knowing who I am in Christ and in what I have been called to do this season. My prayer is that every Pastor’s wife finds security and purpose so they can serve God, their families and others to the best of their ability. By the way, if you see a Pastor's wife this week, give her a big hug and affirm her. It will really bless her!