The One

Monday, September 5, 2022

A few years ago, I was part of a panel at a women's conference. The question was: how did you know your spouse was the one?

Without missing a beat I said, "Zeke is sexy, I had to have him!" The room exploded with laughter!

I will tell you how I knew he was the one another time. Today, I want to tell you about how I remain the one for Zeke.

I want to start by being honest and telling you that I am not perfect. I'm flawed. I am imperfect. 

I know it is not always easy to be married to me. My husband has true love, compassion, and patience with me. I'm grateful. He is dedicated to seeing me succeed. I am eternally grateful for his dedication. He is committed to me, to our marriage, and to our family. I am grateful. Now that I put myself in the imperfect person category, here are a few ways I remain the one for my husband:

Wisdom - God created marriage. I believe that if I follow His direction, I have 100% chance to succeed in Christian marriage. God comes first in my life. I go to Him for help, hope, and guidance in my journey as a wife. I read the Bible and I let it read me. I adjust to what the Bible says I need to do. I've been reminded to be more kind. I've read the Bible and realized I'm not serving from a heart of true love. I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for God's guidance through Scripture and prayer. Godly wisdom has completely helped me remain the one for Zeke.

Counsel - we surround ourselves with real people who have been married longer than we have. Some of my mentors have been married longer than I've been alive. These couples are people we can see, talk to and ask for prayers. These couples are not Tiktok stars, they are real people. This has been a practice that helped us look beyond our season of life and toward a lifetime of marital success. How did we find them? We prayed, then we actively waited for these people to show up. Most were already in our lives. I remember the first couple that actively mentored us taught us a class at another church. They challenged us and encouraged us. Their contribution to our young marriage was priceless. 

Friends - One of my good friends has a habit of only being close to women who honor their spouses. She actively pursues a Godly marriage. She understands that bad company corrupts good morals. She is very careful with her close friends. Until that moment, I didn't realize that was something I should do on purpose. Thankfully, my close friends honor their marriages and deeply respect the covenant they have with God and their spouses. These women are for me and for my marriage. They encourage me to love well and to trust God to see us through any difficulties we may face. 

Health - I believe I can't be a good spouse if I feel ill. I learned, by the grace of God, that making my health a priority benefits my marriage. When I take care of the health God graciously gives me, I can be a better wife to Zeke. I have the energy and strength to be fully his without holding back. I understand there are a lot of things I can't control. I am convicted to be a good steward of the life God has given me by taking care of my health. I truly believe it is easier to serve God, my husband, and our family when I take care of my health. 

Unity - "Can two walk together, unless they agreed?" Amos 3:3 asks. The answer is no. Unity is so important. While I agree that it takes two, I know I can do my part. It requires listening to the other. It requires the humility to wait for unity to arise. It requires thinking about the good of the entire family, not what works for me. 

I talk to my husband - We are not afraid of difficult conversations. Engaging in these conversations allows us to hear and process our positions. Some things require more than one conversation. Sometimes, the only thing we accomplish is the assurance of our commitment and love for one another. 

Growth - My husband has grown so much since we met many years ago. He's not who he was yet he's not who he is going to be. He is being transformed into who God fully made him to be. I'm committed to growing and supporting my husband in every season. I'm not going to coast. I'm going to submit to God as I become everything He created me to be. 

There are other things I can add to this list. The last one I want to mention is gratitude. God gave me the best man in the entire universe. I'm humbled and thankful to be Zeke's wife.